I’ve been reading quite a few books as of late, and have been challenged in some pretty personal areas as a father, husband and pastor. Here’s one of the more recent “ouch, that really hurt” moments while reading Gospel Centered Family.“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” – James 4:1 The book of James has some helpful words for parents. he says conflict arises from “your desires that battle within you.” The problem is not my children’s behavior. The problem is my desires battling with God for control of my heart. Sure, my children misbehave. But when my heart is undivided in its allegiance to God, I respond with calm and loving discipline. But if my selfish desires are ruling my heart, then I’ll respond wrongly. My discipline gets distorted by my selfishness.